Just BREEEAATTHHH!!!

Okay so sorry to all those who constantly read about how hectic my life is on a daily basis, but I feel that if I dont blog about these things to make myself laugh...Porter might not survive the day! As we all know, Porter is a HANDFUL to say the least. I really think that a lot of you think "Yeah, well, so is my kid!" But really...you do NOT understand Porter until you are in charge of him and have to watch him for longer than a few minutes!! I have been told this by every person who has ever had to watch him. It doesnt matter how close of an eye you have on him, he is quiet, sneaky, and WAAY too smart for his own good. I watch him like a hawk, but I still need to get my daily duties done like every other stay at home mom...or nothing would EVER get done. With that being said...let me tell you how WONDEROUS of a morning we have had so far.....................


7:30 am: Woke up to Anastyn crying ready to eat. I made a bottle and proceeded to debate whether or not I should let Porter out of his room, because I could hear him playing. Decided that I should let him out so he wouldnt destroy his room, and found him sitting on the floor reading books...WITHOUT...his diaper and poop smeared ALL over not only himself, but the carpet too! Immediate bath and carpet scrubbed followed, by a lecture on not taking off our diaper without Mommy!


8:30 am: Porter seated at the table about to enjoy one of his favorite breakfast meals...Oatmeal! Him being strapped in and the baby finally fast asleep on the couch, I took the opportunity to use the rest room, my morning weigh in, brush hair, teeth...etc! When I hear the clattering of a bowl hitting the floor! I thought, "luckily it's plastic"...and I was hoping it was empty! Well, apparently Porter wasnt hungry and felt that the oatmeal looked MUCH better in his hair, on his face, shirt, shorts, chair, table, floor, and in the dog's hair! AHHHHH!! A not so happy Mommy gave him a good scrub, lecture, swat, and timeout! When his two year old tantrum was over he was allowed out of his room and I proceeded to clean the floor...


9:15 am: While I was cleaning the hazzard that was breakfast the little monster sat on the couch watching cartoons. The little mastermind then deliberately snuck into my bathroom closing my bedroom door very quietly behind him without me noticing. After about 2 minutes of not hearing him laughing along with the cartoon...I thought "CRAAAAP!" and jumped up to find him. When I saw my bathroom light ON, and the door closed I knew it was trouble....and this is what I open up to see this......




Which quickly turned to this......

And ended with this.........

**Please feel free to click on the photos to make them larger...its then that you will really see how much lotion he managed to squeeze out of this brand new bottle of baby lotion!!!**

All without me saying a word!! He KNEW he was in BIG trouble. At this point I had two choices! One: Breathdown, yell, scream, cry and so on! Or Two: Laugh and take a picture. So opted for the ladder because seriously, its one of those mornings that if you dont laugh...he may not live to see pre-school! haha. So back into the bath tub, cleaned up the bathroom, on to outfit number 4 of the day, I sit down to breath thinking "Is it 5 yet?" (when Kameron gets home from work) But to my dismay the clock reads 9:45 am!!!!!!!! Its going to be a LOOOOOng day........

So for those of you who think you have a handful of a child, I'll gladly trade you!!!