Officially hating Myself

Okay, so I can proudly say that I officially hate myself!! For the past two years I had heard a lot of delivery stories (something about being a mom and talking to other moms...the topic comes up all the time). And multiple times I would hear of people popping out their kids like its nothing when it was so hard for me when I had Porter. I would secretly...and sometimes not to secretly, tell my friends that I hate them for having it so easy. haha. I wanted more than anything to have a baby and be able to laugh and enjoy my baby without being in excruciating pain. Soooo, with that being said, Thursday morning at around 1:30 am I was woken up by some cramping. I had been having braxton hicks contractions for the past few weeks, but these felt different. I timed them for a couple hours and they got pretty consistant at 6 minutes apart. So I called the dr and she told me to head to the hospital. Kameron and I left with the thought that we were going to be sent home. When we got to the hospital they got me hooked up to the machines and checked me. I was at 3 cm and was contracting about every two minutes. After an hour, I had dilated to a 4, and was still contracting, so much to our surprise...it WAS real labor and I was being admitted!! It was about 6 am, and at this point is when we made the phone calls so that my parents could start to head up to Gilbert. (they live 3 hours away) Around 7:30 my doctor broke my water and the contractions got stronger from there. Since I was attempting a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) I wanted to wait til I was at 6 cm before my epidural so I could progress on my own and not have my contractions slowed down. By 9:30 I was at a 6 and got my epidural....HEAVEN! Why people have babies without one I dont know. After the epidural I progressed to an 8 by 10:45, my parents got there about 11:15 and by 11:45 I was ready to push! Talk about cutting it close! My doctor was delivering a baby in the next room so I got to "practice" push for about 25 minutes to prepare myself. Once the doctor came in I pushed though a few more contractions and she was here! Kameron was also able to deliver her. He took a training class a few months back on delivering babies through work...so I asked is he wanted to and he said NO! He didnt even want to watch before it all started. But once there was a head in sight, I guess something peaked his interest and he was slapping on gloves just as the head was coming out. He said it was pretty cool when all was said and done, and I was glad that he actually did it. Everything went perfectly, and I cant even describe the feeling when it was over. After the past two years of wondering if I could, I now know that I can. I am so grateful for such an understanding doctor that risked quite a bit allowing me to have the delivery I wanted. And it couldnt have gone any better!! Well...maybe I could have gone without stitches, but hey I am not complaining. 11 hours from start to finish..woohoo, go me!

Our first picture with our little girl! She looked just like Porter, that it took Kameron and I back to what seems like yesterday when he was born.

Within two hours after I delivered, I was showered and feelins MUCH better.


The next morning Porter came to meet his new baby sister. And depsite what this pictures implies...Porter was LESS than impressed to say the least. He wanted NOTHING to do with her. It was funny because we really couldnt even get him to look at her. It took him 5 hours before he would even give her enough attention to give her a kiss.

All loaded up for her first car ride.

By that night when we got home he had learned to love her. He all of a sudden wanted to hold her...and even though she was sleeping...I wanted to sieze the opportunity because who knows when he would want to hold her again.

Porter giving baby sister a kiss good night!

Our first night was not great to say the least. She didnt sleep hardly at all, and lets just say Kameron and I were very tired this morning. But hopefully she will do better and better as she gets a little more used to this new world! Despite the fact she was 4 weeks early, she has been perfect and is small...but not as small as any of us had expected. As far as the recovery goes...I feel GREAT! I tore pretty bad and had to get quite a few stitches, but on a pain scale of 1 to 10 this felt like a 1 compared to the pain of my c-section. I never knew that having a baby could be this easy. I may just have more....some day! Now that we are home, it should be interesting to see how Porter adjusts, but he is going to be a great big brother once he gets used to the idea. We just love her and cant believe how much she changes every day. Now having the delivery that I wanted....and deserved after Porter's, I can't explain how grateful I am for the opportunity to try and succeed. Our family feels a little more complete now, and we look forward to seeing what Anastyn's personality is like. If its anything like her brother's we are sure in for a treat!